FIRST WEDNESDAY OF EASTER

Dear Father:

HE IS RISEN! Alleluia!!

My thoughts today return to when I was in the hospital back at the first of March. On Day 3 of my hospitalization, March 3, 2003, I made these notes from my hospital bed:
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Day 3 of Hospitalization
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I may be tomorrow when the GI procedure (the scope down the throat) "may" be done -- either tomorrow or Wednesday.

I was on a fast all day Saturday and Sunday on the "possibility" that the GI procedure would be performed over the weekend. It wasn't so the fast was for nought. But the fast was good for me anyway. This past week as been one of the most stressful of my life. The pain last Tuesday and Wednesday were severe -- almost as bad as kidney stone. It actually made it difficult for me to walk. I offered the pain and suffering of those days, and now, for the benefit of the conversion of "partyboy" on Yahoo Catholic Chat, and for Brampton, and for all the others who get caught up in hate, slander, and gossip on Yahoo Catholic Chat.

I have been mostly a "good boy" since being in the hospital -- well almost! Yesterday after getting "unhooked" from the IV I went to the vending machine on the Ground Floor and got myself a Sprite (at least is wasn't a coke). That was not too bad an indiscretion since Sprite is cafeine free (which I am suppose to avoid because of the stomach problems) but it still has the sugar.

Today, however, temptation got the best of me -- especially since I have eaten almost nothing for three days. This time I went to the Cafeteria. I "almost" got myself a hamburger but when I saw my doctor getting a snack I decided to not get the hamburger. Instead I got a chef's salad and a tuna fish sandwich.

This time has been one of much needed rest though it is hard to get rest here in the hospital. In addition to nurses coming in to check on your throughout the night, this place is NOISY. I have spend the last six years in hermitage and an environment of peace and tranquility. All this noise I am not use to and it is driving me NUTS.

This time has also been one of prayer, time for prayer that I have not had in a while. As a result I have come to sense of peace over recent events that have caused so much stress. My sin is ever before me.

Interestingly enough Sunday's Vigil reading was Job. Job, a righteous man (which I am not), was attacked ruthlessly. Upon hearing the news of the loss of his property and family he cut off his hair. In a similar fashion, but under different circumstances -- Job was rightous, I am nothing but a sinner -- unlike Job I am guilty and thus cutting my beard was (and is) a symbol of penance. It was 14 inches long. I cut it to about an inch long (a normal length for most wearing beards).

Psalm 107 speaks to me today:
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Some were sick on account of their sins
and afflicted on account of their guilt.
They had a loathing for every food;
they cam close to the gates of death.

This is almost like it was written for me. On account of my sins I found myself aggrevating a medical problem that put me in the hospital. I ate nothing for days. I did not really come close to death, but the situation was serious enough that I contacted people about what my wishes are if I don't make it and I had the priest come over and give me the Sacrament of Annointing before going to the hospital.

Thanks be to God for His deliverance.

I came across a beautiful private revelation of Sister Mary of the Holy Trinity. Jesus told her:


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"When a trial befalls you, seek the cause within yourselves; what wrong have you done? What good are you neglecting to do?

"Be conscious of your responsibilities and the way in which you fulfill them. You must first understand, and then make amends. Then you will wee that when the trial is no longer necessary, it will cease.

"In difficulty, seek your comfort in Me alone. Ask to obtain the fruit of the trial without delay, so that it may cease."
--from "The Spirirtual Legacy of Sister Mary of the Holy Trinity" entries 79 & 817
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Your miserable servant,
Brother Bubba

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