Dear Father:

It has been seven years now in hermitage. The blessings from God have been wonderful and something of which I do not possible deserve.

I must admit that my sabbatical over the Thanksgiving Holiday left me tempted to return to a life closer to the world. As I entered the the city I could sense the vibrance of lives of the citizens. It was like being in a wilderness and coming into civilization for the first time. Meeting with friends and family was a great blessing and a temptation to want more. Staying with Father Ray at his rectory was a tempation to want parish life and ministry.

I can understand well the ancient monastic admonishment that any monk who is allowed to travel is not to talk about what he saw for the stories of the sights and sounds and experiences can form a temptation to the brothers who remain in cloister. I now understand why monks in monasteries in which I took retreat often sat around me or other retreatants like women lusting for gossip.

The cloistered life, and particularly the hermit's life, is truly separated from the world and from the usual pleasures of the world -- the pleasure of the company of friends and family, the pleasures of active ministry with the parish people, the sense of usefulness to God and man.

Yet we in cloister and hermitage cannot lose site that we, too, are useful to God and to man, through our prayers and studies and imperfect attempts to be an example of Christ. For myself, of course, it is a semi-cloister in that God has granted to me an apostolate on the Internet. And this work has been a blessing with thorns.

The Internet apostolate attracts evil people who seek to destroy, but moreso it brings into focus the privilege of being hated by the world as Christ was hated by the world. The greatest privilege, however, is the ability to minister to so many people throughout the world. Our Internet apostolate has brought even a Jehovah Witness to conversion to the Catholic Church, healing to a young homosexual woman, return to the faith by dozens of people, and an inspiration to the faith of untold numbers of people. Praise God. These things are not a result of me or the staff of the Apostolate, but of the unending grace and love of our Lord Jesus Christ through whom all things are accomplished. We can make no claims for ourselves and indeed we must decrease for Him to increase.

All we can do is to go the best we can following our beloved in His plan for our lives listening to our Holy Mother who points us to her Son and says, "Do what He tells you".

May the glory of God ever be in our hearts.

Your miserable servant,
Brother Bubba

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