Re: Finding a right convent for us.
I have been discerning a call to the religious life for some time, and have entered into mutual discernment with an order of local sisters that I think "is it."
I'd like to correct something you said to Celia on May 31st, and throw in something for her from personal experience.
You said: "The fact of your attraction to this man, or the desire to merely be close to him, is a sign that you are either not called to Religious life or are not ready to pursue it."
The fact that Celia is attracted to men, and sees relationships as good and healthy, is a good sign. If she didn't, I'd question the possibility of her being called to religious life... that she only thought she was called to the religious life because she doesn't like men, doesn't think she could get a boyfriend, doesn't think she could last in a relationship, etc.
On the first read through that paragraph came across as "if you're attracted to a man, you can't be called to religious life." Now I know you wouldn't say that, but it could very easily be mis-interpreted.
Like you said, her attachment to this particular guy is a problem. I was in a similar situation with a guy, and I actually had to cut off all contact with him. I so wanted to be friends, but I knew we couldn't because as friends we would both still be tempted and confused.
So the advice I wanted to pass to Celia is just that... shift the gear to friends, and if that's not possible, cut off contact with him. You really think religious life is God's will for you? If so, protect that like you would an engagement to someone you love dearly. You wouldn't go shopping around for guys if you were engaged, so don't go shopping around while you're discerning. God may very well be calling you to an order in another state/province, or even country. You have to be ready to say "here I am Lord" when He calls, wherever He calls you to. And if something holds you back from giving yourself totally to God... you -must- cut it off and offer it up.
Discerning a call to ANY vocation isn't about I, me, my, and my own desires... it's "what does God want to do with this life which He gave me?" The focus needs to shift off of "I" and onto "God."
QUESTION from Rosa on June 4, 2004
ANSWER by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM on June 5, 2004
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Dear Rosa: I praise God for your vocation and will be in prayer as you discern your calling. I understand your concern about what I said. I agree with that the Religious Life is not a place to run away from relationships or a place for those who cannot get a date. I suppose I could have made that more clear. On the other hand it is hard for me to anticipate how people will mis-read my answers :) As you pointed out my words were about the attraction and the nature of that attraction to this particular man, not that religious life is not for someone who is attracted to men. Not only my specific words, but the context in which those words were written I believe makes clear what I was saying and intending. I appreciate your comments however. It is always good to be reminded of how people read into things, or potentially read into things being said. This is a neverending problem since we all tend to read into things that which we want to see or that our emotions lead us to see. I do try to be as clear as possible, but as Gilda Radner use to say, "It's always somthin". :)
May God Bless, |