ANSWER by Staff on July 4, 2003

Dear Ray: The many profound truths are simple, but not simplistic. As for absolute, yes it is absolute, and you are dead wrong about what the Pope and Vatican II Fathers would say about this. Let us look at the facts as I know them and also what the Vatican II Fathers and the Pope say: Fact 1: There is NO Salvation outside of the Roman Catholic Church. This is de fide, that is, an absolute truth that is infallible. (Catechism 846) FACT 2: A person can not be saved who, knowing that the Catholic Church was founded as necessary by God through Christ, would refuse to either enter it or to remain in it." (LG 14, Vatican II; Catechism 846) FACT 3: As related by your narrative this man IS CONVINCED of the position of the Catholic Church and desires to follow his conscience and the truth to enter the Church formally. FACT 4: Since this man knows and is convinced of the truth of the Catholic Church if he refuses at this point to enter the Church is cannot be saved. (see Fact 2 above which is a quote from the Vatican II fathers). FACT 5: Jesus HIMSELF said in Luke 12:51-53 that families could be split over Him: "Do you think that I have come to give peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather division; for henceforth in one house there will be five divided, three against two and two against three; they will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against her mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law." FACT 6: The husband, by following the Truth of God, is not breaking up the family. If the family is broken up it would be due to the sin and bigotry of the wife. FACT 7: Love requires that the husband follow his conscience and the truth. Love requires that the wife follow her husband. Love requires that the wife not hinder the husband's conversion to the True Church. Love requires that the wife not abandon the marriage. (i.e. Ephesians 5:21ff) Love is defined in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 by God as: "Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." Where is the wife's love? Where is her rejoicing in the right instead of the wrong? Where is her not demanding her own way against the TRUTH of God in the Catholic Church? How is the wife bearing this conversion of her husband? How is the wife enduring this conversion? If the wife abandons the marriage over this then she does not love her husband. All of us must do what is right even if it means allowing our loved ones to part from us. If they part that is THEIR decision not ours. If this man is convinced of the truth of the Catholic Church he has no choice but to convert even if it means his wife leaves him. He should do what he can to maintain the marriage but NOT at the cost of his own soul. If the decision is between his immortal soul and his marriage, then he MUST decide in favor of his immortal soul. Love does not rejoice in wrong. If he refused to convert because of his wife then he has stopped loving and his wife as already ceased to love. Then what happens? He returns to a spiritually loveless marriage, probably unsacramental marraige, held intact by blackmail from a bigoted wife who hates the Catholic Church so much as to lose her marriage over this. He then attends a Church he does not believe in making him feel the hypocrite. He spends his life in a faith that is hollow and forever wishing for what he could have had in the True Church that he knows he should have joined. What solution is this? If the man had not be convinced of the truth of the Catholic Church, then it would be different. But once a person has been informed not only in intellect, but in conscience and soul, then to refuse to join the Church risks damnation. That is not my opinion, that is a FACT, an infallible FACT taught by the Church since 33 AD, taught by Vatican II, and taught by Pope John Paul II. We cannot allow the devil to tempt us into a false compassion. True compassion is based on true love. Thus as love does not rejoice in wrong, neither can compassion. A compassion that overlooks truth for the sake of harmony is not compassion. In fact, it is Satan's game. Satan loves it when we chose false compassion over truth. He loves it because when we practice a false compassion he gains souls for his collection in hell. This man CANNOT go back. He must continue to convert but he also must be in deep prayer, and should ask his whole parish to pray for his wife to be healed and released from the bondage of the devil. Yes, I say bondage, because any person who will destroy a marriage when their spouse becomes Catholic is in the bondage of hatred, bigotry, and deception. These are the hallmarks of the devil. When Jesus was talking about how families would split apart because of Him, He was not talking about illegitimate families, but those marriages that were perfectly valid. A valid sacramental marriage cannot be against truth and cannot abandon the marriage because a spouse converts to Catholicism. In fact, if this man converts and his wife leaves him he will have excellent grounds for annulment because the attitude of the wife and the actions of the wife are clues that his marriage is probably not sacramental at all. This answer is not simplistic and is as deep as one can get. There is nothing deeper than the delimma of doing what one must do to be saved and spend eternity with God in heaven, or to play the fool in false compassion and plausibility (getting along) and risk the death of one's own soul. There is nothing deeper than the idea that one would even think about going to hell merely to protect a marriage, a friendship, or even one's own kids. Given the information you provided, this man must continue to convert and be received into the Catholic Church or else risk his soul to damnation. We cannot know if he would go to hell, only God knows that, but we can say he risks his soul to hell by refusing to convert when he knows he should and ought. Pray for the wife that she will come to her senses. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary