confession
I go to confession with the resolve to tell all of my sins, but sometimes feel inhibited because of the attitude of the priest. I get the impression that he wants me to keep it brief.
Also, I have kept a list of my more serious sins, so that I can bring them to confession, but often second-guess myself because I think that this attitude is a bit scrupulous.
Last week, when I went to confession, I felt so anxious about the whole thing and could not make a good confession; the line was very long and everything had to keep moving. I often wish to be close to God, but the process of confession is so difficult for me. How would you suggest handling this problem/ attitude toward confession?
QUESTION from Sara on June 8, 2004
ANSWER by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM on June 9, 2004
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Dear Sara: Confession is one of the most important Sacraments God has given to us. It is through Confession that we can regain our relationship with God when we have sinned. No one, but no one, should discourage you going to confession, pressure you to hurry up, or to keep if brief. If any priest has such an attitude then I would suggest that he is sinning. In terms of a long line, I do not care if the line is 12 miles long, what needs to be confessed needs to be confessed. But......... ...there are some bad habits we have when going to confession. These bad habits have been encouraged by the "face-to-face" option of Confession. When we sit face-to-face with the Priest there is a tendency to be more conversational about our sins, rather than listing them by kind and number, which is all the Church requires. There is also the temptation for the people to expect, and the priest to give, a counseling session (often with nothing more than psychobabble) to the penitent. The Sacrament of Confession is NOT a counseling session. If one needs pastoral counseling then they need to make an appointment with the priest outside of the Sacrament. The Sacrament of Confession is meant for confessing ones sins, getting prayer, encouragement, and advice on how to avoid the sin, for example, and of course, absolution. The Church says that what we are to do is to list our sins to the priest in kind and number. More information than that is not required. If we approach confession in this traditional and technically proper way, instead of a conversational, pseudo-counseling way, one could confess 1000 sins in a few short minutes. Here is what I mean:
Father, forgive me, for I have sinned. It has been 4 weeks since my last confession. In that time I accuse myself of adultery 24 times, lying 64 times, shoplifting 3 times, stealing from my employer 100 times, indulging in lustful thoughts 1000 times, looking at dirty pictures 50 times, and saying God's name in vain 10 times. For these and all other sins that I cannot now remember I am heartily sorry and ask for forgiveness. There, I just confessed 1251 mortal sins in 1 minute... :) Unless the priest asks you for more details, the above example is all that is required.... kind and number. If the line for confession is long, this straight "kind and number" style is very appropriate, but this is the style that is all that is required in any event. Unless the priest asks for further details nearly all confessions would not need to last more than a few minutes technically. As for writing down your serious sins, this is an excellent way to examine yourself and to be aware of what you do. Be sure no one sees that list and be sure to destroy it afterwards, but making a list can be very helpful to remember what needs to be confessed. Grave sins must be confessed, of course, but if you are not sure whether or not a particular sin is serious then try to look it up in the Catechism or ask the priest, even when you are in confession. Confession is good for venial sins too, so when in doubt confess it anyway.
God Bless, |