Vacation and Intimacy
I feel a little silly asking this question, but here goes:
My husband and I will be leaving our four children in a month to celebrate our 10-year anniversary with a second honeymoon. We are really looking forward to a romantic getaway, but there's one problem. According to the rhythm of my cycles, if the next one is the same as the others, we will go on this trip during a fairly fertile time.
We have a serious reason to avoid pregnancy and are very disappointed by the fact that our anniversary getaway happens right at this time. We can't change the date of our plans, because of plane fare and child care arrangement restrictions, and we very much want to be able to celebrate our marriage with no holds barred in the romance department.
Would it be wrong to use condoms this one time for such a situation? If the answer if "yes", do you have any suggestions for remedying such a disappointment?
QUESTION from Rose on May 27, 2004
ANSWER by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM on June 1, 2004
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Dear Rose: There is no way you can use birth control. Think about it a minute.... this situation is happening because of a failure to figure this out in advance before the tickets and arrangements were made. As we all know, we must take responsibility for our actions. One of the BIG problems with American society is that we think that marital intimacy and romance HAS to include sexual intercourse. This is not true. A husband and wife can have all kinds of intimacy without sexual intercourse. In addition, this "honeymoon" is giving you an opportunity to know each other as life-mates, and not just sexual partners; to explore other ways to be intimate and romantic without always having sexual intercourse. Make this honeymoon a consecration of your marriage to God, a renewal of your vows, a discovery of each other anew. The discipline to avoid intercourse in this context is a powerful opportunity to true know each other without "knowing" each other. This is an opportunity to offer up to God the suffering of abstinence for the spiritual growth of your marriage and family. That alone will do wonders to improve your marriage. If you have grave reasons to use NFP, then do not tarnish your second honeymoon with sin, but decide to make this honeymoon one of non-intercourse intimacy and spiritual intimacy and consecration of the marriage to God. Your marriage may be much stronger for this.
God Bless, |