Family Morality or Lack Thereof
            QUESTION from Susan on June 3, 2004

Dear Brother, This is my second letter tonight writing to you. I think I lost my other one in cyberspace. If you receive the two of them, Brother, this one would the better one, I think. I read your forum on a regular basis and I myself have asked 2 questions concerning a former exorcism I was involved in for 5 years and my confusion on TaiChi vs Labyrinth. Both were answered in such a clear and beautiful way, that I was at peace. Thank you. What I am sharing with you does not need to be put on the forum but I certainly do not mind if you do. Just change my name please, if you can. To start off I have been praying intensely lately for the Lord's Light and Mercy not only for myself, but others as well. On the whole, in His goodness, many times I receive a word of consolation or rebuke whatever the case may be through Scripture readings. It truly is my strength. I have been in spiritual direction for 20+ years and through the years have been involved in different ministries. The most intense would be the exorcism. Two priests headed this with the permission of two bishops. I would not have had it any other way. This is when the charismatic renewal is so inspired by the Holy Spirit when priests and laity work in communion with the different gifts needed for such a task. I tend to agree with you Brother that the renewal many times is abused and infected with fundamentalism contrary to Catholic teachings. That being said, I will continue on what is so heavy on my heart. Over the past 4-5 years, it seems that my family, extended and immediate, is saturated with so much sexual permissiveness that my head is reeling. I will annotate them as simply as possibly to make myself understood. · Starting with the youngest brother in the family, D., (35 years old), he is married with two very young children. He engages in 'menage a trois' when he is on holidays and believes, like some of my friends, that it is ok and not adulterous because it is consensual. They do not go to church�just for the weddings, funerals, etc. · The next youngest is my sister M. who is 43. She was married that was made in hell for 22 years to a man of terrible physical, mental and spiritual abuse. Typical of this situation, she was alienated from the family for 22 years. She left him 2 years ago and is working on her annulment which seems quite promising. During this time, she actively got in contact with her first beau and lover when she was 17 and he, also is a married man. He is now divorcing his wife to marry my sister. My sister has 4 children and this man has none of his own but fostered his ex-wife's children and brought them up as his own. They are certainly in love. When he would come from the US to here in Canada, I would take the children to protect them from scandal. After awhile, they just kept the kids home with them whether they had sexual activities or not. Now, both are not divorced yet, and they are talking about having a child with each other and this whole situation is sending the older children into a frenzy. I do talk to the children as one is my godchild and I am teaching them to share their feelings about this whole mess in a mature way. They are entitled to this. My brother and her beau both go to church and go to communion. The children are also raised in the C. church. · The next one is my sister D. who is 48. She was married for 25 years and has 5 children. The youngest being 15 now. She left all of them after raising them in the Catholic Church to live with an older man by about 15 years who is also married. She literally turned her back on her ex and her kids. She would encourage her children when she was home to have safe sex�by that being not only birth control, but also allowing her kids to have sex under her roof. She also would encourage it by driving them with their beaus to stay overnight somewhere. I do not know if she goes to church or not as she lives across the border. Her ex tries his best in raising the children, going to church and working overtimes to make ends meet. · The next one is my born-again brother, M, who left the Catholic Church, the Anglican Church, Calvary Gospel Church and then finally 'worships' in Faith Tabernacle. He is a blatant anti-Catholic and his actions are too many to enumerate here. He caused much damage within the family let alone almost lost his job with his rantings and ravings. Yes, he is moral and church-going but the rift is so deep, reconciliation is not plausible at this point. He is 51, been married for 30 years and has 4 children. · I am the oldest, 53, been married for 30 years and have 2 children. My oldest is a daughter, 26, who became a single-mom at 17. Her father tried to make her have an abortion. She kept the baby and he didn't talk to her for 3 months. I was very proud of her. We are the grandparents and godparents of an 8-year old. She is now living with a man for the past 6 years who has taken her son as his own. I was aware that she has had 2 abortions 6 and 4 years ago. But he told me she has had 4 in all�one just recently. She did not tell me this, the beau did. She knows how I feel about any abortion and told her so with the first. That I hated what she was doing but will always love her. I went into a small depression�my grief was too great. Today, I do not want to enter into that grief and embrace it. It is too much for me to handle at this point. My husband does not care at all. We have had our arguments through the last 8 years. He doesn't care. She does go to the church at times but does not go to communion. Thank God! My youngest is a son, 24, who bought a house to live with his significant other. I tried to discourage him to no avail. He couldn't afford both a marriage and a house. He does not go to church. This is it. Needless to say that my heart is anguished and in pain. It doesn't stop. It fell on me to mother all of them through the years when Dad would have his violent drunken escapades every week-end. My mother would take the brother born after me to safe-guard him and left me in this chaos alone with my sisters. I have grown much through the years only by God's grace through mental, physical, and spiritual healings, etc I know I am not responsible for other peoples' actions, whether family or not. Nonetheless, it does anguish me. My question here is: other than stating what is sinful (only once and stated as a fact and not preaching), is it my responsibility to share with them that if they died under these conditions, chances they would go to hell? Actually, they are starting their hell now, it would just get worse in the afterlife. I love them all and hope only the best for them. But so many sexual things are acceptable in the secular world because 'everybody is doing it', does not look so pleasant to God. Other than prayer, is there anything else I can do? This seems like some kind of a spiritual dis-ease or obsession or infestation in the family. Please advise. Thanks for any advice. God bless you mightily in your ministry. Susan